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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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After a while, I headed back down. I was feeling all philosophical, thinking about life and stuff. But then, I tripped on a rock. Classic me, right? I fell flat on my face. I was so embarrassed! A couple of hikers helped me up, and I just laughed it off. “Just testing the ground, folks!”

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